20 march 2005.1146 pm

last night i made this huge mexican dinner for my family, and while it turned out magnificent, the green chiles had some sort of weird effect on my hands. my small hands that have known absolutely no hard labor in 21 years of use, free from any sort of calluses or chapped skin, swelled up and burned like fire for hours. what i'm getting at is, THANKS A LOT, MEXICO.

i am on spring break. i will be actively looking for a job during the day and at night i will be watching the giant pile of vhs movies that my dad has bought me over the past few months [dodesukaden, blue velvet, la dolce vita, kolobos, ice cream man, manchurian candidate, etc, etc]. also lately i have been watching blind swordsman movies, because i 1. like the idea of a blind man killing everyone who crosses his path with such impressive precision; 2. like the idea of a blind man making a living as a masseur; 3. like saying "zatoichi."

school ends in may. i am not graduating. i have 7000 different engagements in june. i am attempting to move out by october.

i am so tired. all of the time.

my hands still hurt.