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5 november 2003.325 pm my weekend in 3 parts - part two saturday, november 1st midnight: get into the hotel room; cody disarms the fire alarm so we can smoke:
this makes the alarm beep every ten minutes. of course. 1am: realise that we're all sleeping in the one king size bed. everyone is uncomfortable. 3am: wake up because of the alarm beeping. cody is sleeping on the floor and his asthma is so fierce im afraid ill have to give him a tracheotomy with a fountain pen. only i dont have a fountain pen. eventually fall back alseep. 9am: get up. on the nightstand there is a polaroid of me and david in bed. SCANDALOUS. 10am: BEARD PARADE!!!! its exactly as good as you think it would be. 11am: eat at grandma hattie's, which is like dennys but not as fancy. there are slot machines inside. we sit in the smoking section and our waiter picks on david, calling him "skinnyboy." noon-2pm: visit my parents' friends who live in carson city. nick and sandy are very crazy, but also very good at keeping a semblance of sanity. they tell stories about things like the time some kids stole my parents' marijuana plants, so nick found out where the kids lived and went over to their house with his shotgun and fucked shit up. 215pm: get stoned and go to the BEARD CHAMPIONSHIPS. 245pm: realise that the BEARD CHAMPIONSHIPS are running late, leave and go to a pawn shop that advertises "GUNS, GUITARS, AND GOLD" on its front window. decide that pawn shops make me feel dirty. 330pm: go back to BEARD CHAMPIONSHIPS.
4pm: find the cutest fat boy at the championships and stalk him from afar. he meets all the hot fat boy requirements UNTIL he leaves for ten minutes and comes back wearing lederhosen. LEDERHOSEN!!
6pm: beard judging ends and polka band starts. hot fat lederhosen boy is the trumpet player. !!! sweet he's in a band! 630pm: leave to get dinner and find a hotel to stay at for the night. 730pm: go back to my parents' crazy friends' house to use their internet to find a hotel in reno, for a change of pace. cody gets a really cheap hotel room by lying/saying that he is travelling alone on a business trip. 9pm: get to hotel in reno. its a much higher class of shitty hotel than the last place. we put a tshirt over the smoke detector, get stoned and watch mexican funniest home videos for an hour. 10pm: david is sleeping, so cody and i go to the casinos. cody plays the midway games at circus circus and wins a framed poster of marykate and ashley olsen. i worry about lindsay having a gambling problem when she turns 21. midnight: get back to the hotel. NEXT UP: THE EXCITING CONCLUSION |
    
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