08 june 2004.1212 am

today i went to savers, aka value village for our neighbors to the north, for the massive 50% off sale they have once a month. i was minding my own business, looking through the linens, when this duder comes up to me and starts talking about how you can find anything you've ever wanted in a thrift store. now, this guy is about 25, kinda greasy, wearing a fleece vest and track pants that dont match, your typical wannabe jock brobot. aka not my style, nor anyone's style really.

after an introduction i'm sure he thought was suave and possibly the limpest handshake i have ever experienced, i don't even bother feigning interest in anything he has to say, including stories about living on the east coast, making his own jewelery, finding money in coat pockets, etc, etc. i ignore him as he follows me around the store for ten, fifteen minutes, until he tells me i'm very pretty, and how could a guy like him get close to a girl like me? which is obviously when i start freaking out and looking for lindsay, because lindsay has riot-strength pepper spray in her purse. this guy has STALKER written all over him and his faux nautica gear. after he shows me pictures of his family on his digital camera, i find lindsay and consider tongue kissing her and pretending she's my girlfriend, but realise that lesbianism would only encourage this guy. he asked me if he could call me sometime, i said no way, and now lindsay has a new thing to make fun of me for, but she can say whatever she wants, as long as she has the pepper spray, which i made her have easily accessible until we got in the car and locked the doors in case he was lurking around waiting to follow me home.

moral of the story is, why do all these insane freaky men love me when all i want is john goodman's character in "roseanne," but with better hair? can you explain this to me please.

the things i deal with every day. i tell you.