29 december 2002.354am

today i beat my personal record of Time Spent at a Local Show: four minutes. i came, i saw roughly 2.5 lugosi songs, i told brad that he smelled like cornchips and feet, and i left.

sometime during that, lindsay handed me a pamphlet [the show was at a youth center; theyre good places to have shows because they always have really nice free literature for you. also, churches] titled "are you a teen girl involved with a grown man?" and it had a checklist to see if the man you are with is a REAL MAN, such as:

  • REAL MEN don't move in with a teen girl's family, even if the family thinks its fine.

  • REAL MEN don't ruin teen girls' lives by getting them pregnant and forcing them to quit school and go on welfare.

and so forth. god, statutory rape is funny. i'm going to photocopy the "sex with a teen will land you in jail" pamphlet and send it to people like r kelly and calvin johnson. too bad they dont make a "videotaping yourself peeing on a teen will land you in jail" pamphlet, it would be much more helpful to r.


"you know, if i was ever going to get into an argument with someone about who was going to be the back end of a horse costume, it would probably be with you, ashley." - cody.