04 april 2005.8:00 pm

it's been the sort of weekend where you have a ton of shit to do but instead you have to wake up early on saturday to put your childhood pet to sleep, so you feel completely justified in doing nothing and slacking much harder than usual. i poured half a bottle of fuzzy navel malt beverage on the ground for the pope and the best orange tabby in the world because libationary elegies are my favorite.

i have a ton of homework to do and on wednesday i start a month long, one unit class on female directors that im pretty sure is just going to make me feel bad for being female. kathryn bigelow as a representative of my gender in hollywood? no wonder they keep us barefoot and pregnant.

i still have tv. right now there is a made for tv movie about a girl who cuts herself because she isnt popular, and later there will be one about a girl who acts like a slut to be popular. sometimes i wish my high school experience was more than reading books, watching movies, and going to punk shows [which frankly hasnt been much different than my post high school experience], but i realise that in that alternate universe i would run the risk of honestly identifying with these movies instead of sneering at them. i am an asshole.

while we're on the topic of me being an asshole, the best thing that happened this weekend was the discovery of a new digital cable service called IN DEMAND. to hear it described sounds like its the greatest idea since philo t sat down and invented the picture tube [WATCH WHAT YOU WANT WHEN YOU WANT ALL THE TIME] when in reality its limited at best. there are no lifetime movies. comedy central donates almost nothing to the pot besides one episode of "strangers with candy." i have been slowly working my way through the first season of "penn & teller's bullshit" [ive never seen it until now. penn jillette is like 6'6". i have a total boner just thinking about it] because i know when im through i will have to turn back to worthless regular digital cable. but anyway. IN DEMAND has a feature called DATING IN DEMAND. yes, nothing but videos of desperate people hoping that the efforts of comcast broadcasting their pleas for love will eventually net them someone foolish enough to tolerate them. this is like a godsend. my sneer function is out of control.

<3 tv.