13 november 2003.1026 pm

today i had an enormous list of things to do and did barely any of them. here are a couple of the things i actually did do:

1. i bought this fashionably ugly sweater at the salvation army for $2, but its an unfashionably ugly offwhite. i thought i could go to the fabric store and buy some dye for it. of course, i hate the fabric store and everyone who works in it because of their complete inability to actually be helpful to me in any way. CASE IN POINT: i wandered around the store for ten minutes, not able to find any dye but reassuring myself that a fabric and craft store would carry fabric dye. when i caved in and asked where the it was, they pointed me toward Aisle 5. Aisle 5 is where you can get Make Your Own Gel Candles Supplies. THANKS, ASSHOLES, THAT WASNT EVEN CLOSE. AND ALSO GEL CANDLES EXPLODE SO I HOPE YOU ALL DIE FROM HOT GEL SCORCHING YOUR FACES.

2. i finally got my cell phone activated. the guy who set up my account ["Mike"] was very nice, he kept "cutting me deals." at least thats what it all sounded like because i dont know anything about cell phones. "Since you brought in your own phone, I'm gonna do a little something for you: I'll give you a free SIM card and a free face plate." since i didnt know and am still unsure of what a sim card is, all i thought to myself was, "AWESOME FREE FACEPLATE!!! MY PHONE IS SO UGLY!!!!"

and of course i just made it uglier. originally my phone was what sony ericsson likes to call "mystical green." my choices for a new faceplate included: blue and white hawaiian print; black and silver tribal tattoo art with dragons spitting fire; and orange sunsets with multicolored butterflies flying across them. obviously i went with an ocean scene:

best phone ever. orca cell in full effect. expect drunken phone calls starting tomorrow.