20 march 2003.4:19 am

3am thursday morning: my 30 year old sister and i watching "ringu" [the original japanese version of the smash american hit "the ring"] while eating chocolate pudding. ive seen the american one, she hasnt.

jenna: its too dark. whats happening? whats that thing?

me: at least when its all dark, i can read the goddamned white subtitles [subtitles should ALWAYS be yellow. ALWAYS].

jenna: wait. wait. pause it and explain it to me.

me: uh. well, in the american version, it was different. its like in the japanese version they neglected to explain a bunch of important shit that holds the plot together.

jenna: i cant follow this. and that guy is too serious, he sounds like mulder from the xfiles. everything has to do with demons or his psychic powers.

me: or his facial hair. i believe he has a moustache, a neckbeard AND a soul patch.

jenna: yeah, that was excellent. hey, how come the japanese can make awesome cameras but they cant have good lighting or coherent plots?

me: i dont know, they made battle royale, which has possibly the best plot ever.

jenna: what?

me: a group of ninth graders are taken to a deserted island and forced to kill each other until only one is left. they also have collars that make their heads explode.

jenna: niiiice.


before all you asshole film students jump all over me id like to point out that i, too, was once an asshole film student, so please, by all means, suck my dick.

earlier i watched "funny games," a movie that was described to me by a friend as "a giant piece of austrian cinematic garbage created by someone who wanted to see how awful and disturbing they could make a movie, dont see it it would be a horrible waste of your time i hated it i hated it i hated it RAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" and so i knew i had to watch it immediately. i thoroughly enjoyed it, and not just because it was in german. just mostly. entfernen Sie Ihre Hosen.