today i was at the mall, and a black guy stopped me to tell me that i "got ASS!!!" i hope he meant "A$$!!!"
other things from the past 6 days:
my birthday happened. i am now 20 years old and $250 richer. i also got another vintage old lady coat, a pencil skirt, and the littlest sewing machine ever. i accept gifts year-round, so really, feel free to buy me things.
i bought myself white shoes. im such a TOOL.
i came thisclose to hitting some fool on a bicycle; it was my fault since instead of using the old fashioned "hand signals," motorists are now supposed to telepathically interpret the navigational path of all bicyclists. at least im assuming thats what he yelled at me when he was riding extremely slowly and completely unannounced in front of my tercel. i saw him about ten minutes later and i was going to drive by him and scream about how if i actually did hit his spandex covered ass and he flew off his bicycle and scraped his face along the ground for 50 feet, no one would care because he's such a dickwad. but i thought that sounded too much like a threat. because it was. and i dont feel like getting arrested for murder threats. again.
everyone still thinks im a homosexual. it'll never end. ill be married with babies and ill still get macked on by big burly women. poor, poor ashley.
i went to the casiotone for the painfully alone/paradise boys/the rapture show because im a totally deck tassel and i polished with my raphaels and my flogger that only cost 7 berries. i saw a wally and i couldnt tell if he was flavorless, but i made sure he saw me bust a moby. and i saw that fucking hypo chipper and she was totally shellacked! she's so midtown.
hahahoohhh thats basically how it was. only everyone was deadly serious. besides me, of course, since im not serious about anything besides morrissey and....yes.
my birthday celebration is tomorrow! whoooo drinkin at codys apartment yaaaaaaaaaah!! maybe ill get more presents.
oh and i still need a steady job. buy me one of those too.
