1 august 2003.123 am

i think the neighborhood kids are stealing my cigarettes out of my car [yes, i keep cigarettes in my car AND my purse, JUST IN CASE]. this is something that would normally fill me with rage, not only for the invasion of privacy but the theft of my delicious delicious tobacco products; however, lately ive been smoking nat sherman fantasia lights, and if youre unfamiliar with this certain brand of cigarettes [and apparently also if youre too damn stupid to click on the link i provided] fantasia lights come in a gold box and theyre rolled in assorted brightly colored papers with gold filters... gayest cigarettes ever, i know. but the idea of the 14 year old hoodlums who live on my street, so desperate for tobacco products because they need to look cool, so they turn to stealing my pink cigarettes out of my busted ass toyota.... FUNNY!!! next time i see them skateboarding, im calling the police. again.

speaking of cigarettes, whats up with these new cigarettes that dont give you cancer, and they wont give off any secondhand smoke, and they dont give off any bad cigarette smells or make your teeth yellow, and smoking them makes you smarter, and the cigarettes can tell time, and when you put a pack of the cigarettes in the middle of your bedroom they clean the room for you, etc, etc. i think it sounds sketchy but hey who knows, i might be saying eclipse cigarettes 4 prez in a few months.