31 may 2004.811 pm

i love "roseanne." dan conner: my dream man. my life pretty much centers around "roseanne" and when it is on tv [currently in hour blocks at noon, 3pm, 6pm, 11pm, and 2am during the week on nick at nite, kicu, and the OH! network] [please get me a hobby or better yet, a real life]. because i try to get a "roseanne" fix at least 3 times a day i watch a lot of garbage, including commercials. i used to have vile contempt for advertisments like any bright eyed and bushy tailed young liberal, but then i got super jaded [from violent movies, junk food, and the internet of course] and now commercials are one of my favorite forms of art. who hasnt been walking around the last couple of weeks singing "AND THE NAME YOU KNOW IS FIRESTOOONE, WHERE THE RUBBER MEETS THE ROOOAD," or "I WANNA TALK ABOUT MEAT I WANNA TALK ABOUT FIRE I WANNA TALK ABOUT BARBEQUUUUUUUUUE?" look at your teeth, you must be in love! sexy bitches eatin' chicken in the chicken capital, USA!! may your marriage be as long as this pannido!

in other news i want to run away to coney island and join the sideshow school. $600 to learn sword swallowing, fire eating, hand in bear trap and blockhead skills? that's all i want out of life.