11 march 2005.238 pm

jobs i would like to have:

  • writing the plot synopses on the backs of porno videos
  • naming crayons or gum
  • glass blower at the ren faire [only because i bet i could pick up tons of nerdy fat guys. 17th century humping is sooooo hot]
  • sitting at the counter during "emeril live." job requirements would be tasting food, looking overly enthused about said food, and crapping my pants every time emeril kicks it up a notch.
  • clerk at haunted bookstore
  • product description writer for the pyramid collection
  • serving wench at medieval times
  • person who either a. comes up with new ideas for "big johnson" tshirts or b. creates more of those "blankers do it blanky blank" tshirts [i.e. bartenders do it til you barf]. they need to be more abstruse. ôstevedores pack it like a vessel."