24 july 2004.225 pm

so i've been doing nothing for the past week because in an effort to not be totally and completely broke by the end of next month i have been trying to save money. you know why homeless people are sitting around all the time, bitching about life? because there is NOTHING ELSE TO DO WHEN YOURE BROKE. you have the option of doing some nothing or getting some hardcore napping accomplished.

my last purchase was a shopping spree at "big!lots" where i spent $12 on, among other things, toothpaste and "fitness" beverages. it is well known that i barely tolerate fitness and my idea of a good sport is the roller derby, but recently i got a coupon for a free bottle of PROPEL FITNESS WATER and ever since i've been trying to get PROPEL any which way i can. i don't know if its the nipple-like twist open top, or just the genius of adding flavoring to otherwise dull water, but it is by far my beverage of choice for my hard days of laying around watching "roseanne."

unfortunately, PROPEL retails for $1.50 or more, so its hard to adequately quench my PROPEL thirst. while we were at big!lots, cody found a bunch of FUZE for $0.49. those of you who also have no lives with any real responsibility or are just fans of the PAX channel will no doubt recognize FUZE as the beverage that is always prominently displayed behind a one mr jd roberto, host of "shop til you drop." once i even saw someone win a whole case of FUZE on styd, and let me just say, i hope they found mr jd roberto's car [i'm guessing a le baron] in the parking lot after the taping and pelted it with FUZE, because winning an entire case of it is no prize indeed. FUZE tastes sort of like old but not quite fermented juice, and apparently has selenium in it. they're trying to tell you that selenium is good for you, but i saw "lethal vows" on the lifetime network, where john ritter played a guy that liked to kill his wives by scraping - you guessed it!- SELENIUM out of old radios and secretly feeding it to them and getting them to rub it on their face and such. they all died horribly violent deaths! i'm on to you, FUZE beverages!

so what i'm getting at is, FUZE is gross, and drink PROPEL if you hate mr jd roberto's stupid ugly face.