2 january 2003.232 am

in celebration of the new year, here is a list of google searches that yielded this diary. i've kept a list since spetember, which should show you what kind of FREAKS are on the internet. most of these, i can explain one way or another, but several, i cant. some are just puzzles wrapped in a mystery dipped in an enigma powdered with a conundrum and a riddle on top.

sorry, i was looking at my donut. alphabetized for your convenience. contact me with any questions.

[EDIT: this page is now updated regularly]


16 old get fuck

1984 subaru gl

3rd nipple

5th wheel nudity

9th grade sluts

aaliyah airbrush denim

aaliyah nude

abdominal sweat belts

AIM n00dz

angela anderson on-line diary [whoever you are, you better watch out, angela anderson! sounds like there is a conspiracy against you!]


"ashley howdeshell"

ashley's letters to god

asshole pooping

"balding" + "sexy" OR "attractive"

"bathtub sluts"


ben savage & fred savage


big + housedream

bitches with nice hair


black bootay

black exotic dancer

blam band

blam blam

"blam your asshole"

bling bling

bling bling photoshop

bling bling purse

bling bling sluts

bling bling sweatpants

bling bling tshirts

boob sweat

booty jeans [multiple times]

booty bootay

bow down bitches

britney spears masturbatory

carrabba april 10

carrabba's sex life

cars keyed

cashmoney bling

chris carrabba's age

chris carrabba's dick

chris carrabba's hair

"christina ricci antidepressants"

"christina ricci chubby naked"

"christina ricci" + fuck

christina ricci how she lost weight

christina ricci not fully clothed

christina ricci tattoos

chubby boys [multiple times]

chubby christina

chubby girls [multiple times]

chubby sexy chicks

chubby sluts

clit grows penis

cockslap [multiple times]

crazy shit

cryforhelp baby


cute pictures of tattoos on lower back for girls

cute tampon

cute tampon cases

dad fuck mom

dated sean patrick morrissey

"david lynch sucks"

dead bitches

dead porno stars


diaryland legally blind


dog sex 12 y old dad fuck mom dog [jesus christ. i hate people.]

dogs fucking black hos

dogs pooping on girls

dogs that hump

dream bitches facial

dry hump

dumb bitches like big nice cars

dumb old bitches

enlarged clit

extra nipple

"extra nipple" pictures -cock

"facepaint" + me

facepunch [true story: i believe theres a hardcore band called facepunch? but im way more famous than them.]

fontana bitches

freak by nick bishop

freak: inside the twisted world of michael jackson

fucking my sexy mom

fucking my sexy mom and grandma

fully clothed dildo

funny bitches

gangbanger sluts

"gangbanger tattoos"

gator belts and patty melts

girls of degrassi pictures

girls pooping

girls with big penises

goodbye baby and amen [multiple times]

grade my tits

grade school sluts

grandma fucks boy next door

grandma that fucks like a rabbit

half your age plus seven

hardcore sex


homeless girls fucking

homeless people fight


hotoldmen [multiple times; i am the number one search result, #2 is hotoldmen.com]

hot older men

how to get bitches

how to get wavy hair

huge nipples

i can't grow any facial hair [this is true]

i have a big ass [also true]

i like chubby boys [again, true]

i like jewish [um jewish what? but still, probably true.]


japanese gangbanger pictures

japanese loud next door

jewish bitches

jimmy dean sausage commercial

kelly dog fuck

kelly osbourne costume

"kelly osbourne" + "hate"

kelly osbourne lingerie

kelly osbourne naked sex [i seriously get hits for this about ten times a day. i should tell her.]

larger clit

legally blind

leg shints

less facial hair

lick you from your head to your toes


lowcut sexy jeans

lowcut shirt

lowdown santa cruz

"lower right quadrant abdominal pain"


M.A.S.T.E.R P. and the New Nolimit

mexican dad chubby

mexican gangbanger tattoos

mexican tattoos

milk has blood in it

mom bitches

monkey eyes

monsta jamz [multiple times]

more nerves than the penis

morrissey nigga [this is possibly my favorite one of all time]

multiple penises

my aunt asked me to fuck her

my sexy mom [multiple times]

"my tits" + diaryland

"naked in the film"

naked kelly osbourne

naked knife fight

naked picture of my cousin she's gorgeous.

nards + hair

nathan howdeshell [multiple times; who is searching this always??? if it is crazy brace paine then why dont you make me a stupid mixxtape?? come over to my house, we can watch roadhouse and movies about people who are mistakenly at harvard]

neck tattoos [multiple times]

ni fi knife fight [multiple times]


no limit toys

no prescription vicodin


nude girls keyed 16 old

old bitches

old english lettering tattoos

old mama hos

"old man hats"

old + "sexygrandma" + fucking

osbourne dog pooping

pain in shints

"pants" + "zip up in the back"

"peeing joanna"


"personality disorder christina ricci"

pictures of boob sweat

pictures of my tits

"pictures to photoshop"

pimps n hos

pimps with hos with big tits

pirate babes


"pooping japanese girls"

r kelly sex tapes [multiple times]

ricci + booty

ron jeremy and ginger lynn

satanic dentists

"searchable by weight"

"sexual paraphernalia"

sexy chicks with moustache

sexy chubby

sexy grandma

sexy lingerie

sexy metal chicks

sexy naked jewish mom

sexy neck tattoos

"she gives me a boner"

"she pissed on him"

she's a cocksucker

show me girls pooping

sluts that like it in cars

"smashed pennies" +cruz

snoop dogg talking doll

steven patrick morrissey

steven patrick morrissey tattoos

superfluous nipple

talking master p [multiple times]

tattoos on penises

teen pee

teeshirts + nipples


thugz lettering

total sex tapes

tshirt nipples

t-shirt nipples sexy wet

ugly metal chicks

urination in pants

"vintage tshirts" [multiple times]

want a penis

weird movies

well she's a total blam blam [multiple times]

what does blam stand for?

what to do when your car is keyed

why nurse get blam for the doctor


wiggly clit

wiggly dildo

"woman with a moustache"

the worst deformed faces

"yearbooks from different schools"

"you like it when i like you less"

you must be wondering how the boy next door turned out

you suck mama, you dont even care