12 April 2004.12:50 am

i think i have a little crush on mikey teutul from discovery channel's american chopper:

and by "little crush," i mean im about two steps away from screenprinting his face on all of my underpants. tall, fat, bearded, glasses, funny, what else could i possibly want?

mikey, hear my plea: let's get together and make dirty motorcycle love. you can even celebrate it on the show by building a custom chopper dedicated to our storybook romance!

[insert your own joke about me riding mikey's "chopper" here]

in the event you have a girlfriend, please contact me after she dies. i love you, please never shave i'm into the beard.

xo ashley