5 august 2003.105 am

saturday night when lindsay and cody and i were driving to the bocce ball & karaoke bar by the railroad tracks [CLASSY] we almost ran over this hippie woman who was missing key teeth and she gave lindsay the evilest evil eye in the history of evil.

she was going to the bar too [duh], so we basically feared for our lives UNTIL she took the karaoke stage and sang "we built this city" by starship. she obviously knew all the lyrics by heart, too, making it one of the Greatest Things I Have Ever Seen. later she was going around collecting tips [because if you havent figured out by now she was a regular at the bar] for the dude who runs the karaoke machine [at one point during the night he gave a masterful performance of "hey baby que paso," all while wearing an incredible hulk dress shirt], and when she came up to me i told her i didnt have any money but she did a lovely job singing.

at this point she leaned INCREDIBLY close to me, grabbed my arm tightly, and stuck her face next to mine so she could whisper in my ear with her breath that smelled like dijon mustard and cheap wine, and she told me about how everyone tells her shes a wonderful singer, and about how she knows barbara streisand's cousin's vocal coach, and about how karaoke is THE place to get famous; meanwhile all i could think about was how i hate touching people and how hard lindsay was laughing at me.

the moral of the story is: i need to not talk to crazy people, because crazy people LOVE ME WAY TOO MUCH.

also: cody gave the best performance ive ever seen ever of "broken wings" by mr mister. im talking writhing around on the ground and humping the mic stand. god bless you, cody!

COMING SOON: an adventure involving cody driving my dad's 1979 orange VW van to santa cruz, because we have no other way of transporting the organ that lindsay found on the street for us. this will involve loud music, silly hats, and large amounts of marijuana. stay tuned!