3 october 2003.854pm this morning when i got in the car at 7am [im a nanny and kids start school WAY TOO EARLY] i noticed the largest bird poo i have ever seen, smack dab on the middle of my windshield. i think i remember hearing one time that you can tell what an animal eats by looking at its feces [or i made that "fact" up, whatever], so im going to guess that this particular bird eats either humans or giant radioactive japanese monsters, possibly both. admittedly i park under a tree, specifically a pomegranate ["apple having many seeds"] tree. have you ever seen a pomegranate tree before? they look rather unearthly, sort of like something out of a dr seuss ["theodore geisel"] book: i.e exactly the kind of deciduous shrub a giant, man-eating bird would frequent. in other words, somebody come clean my car. vaccuum also, please.