21 november 2003.936 am

as far as i'm concerned, my cell phone is only good for playing computer minigolf [low score: 53] and text messaging. last night lindsay and i text messaged back and forth for over half an hour... i need a hobby. also, downloading ringtones. i dont know why i need more ringtones seeing as i never use the actual phone aspect of it. anyway.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO MICHAEL JACKSON NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! its cool, he's out on a $3 million bail.

shelly : "He has slept in a hyperbaric chamber, tried to buy the Elephant Man's bones, gone through a pair of quickie marriages that befuddled many, and utterly transformed his face through plastic surgery. His skin tone has changed from dark to a pale white, a change Jackson blames on vitiligo, a disorder marked by pigment loss."

shelly : my friend mimi eats cheese and bananas together. i think that's WAY weirder?


SPECIAL EXTRA BONUS STORY THAT I KEEP FORGETTING TO TELL: last week when i was taking the train to san jose so i could catch a bus to santa cruz, there was a fat boy on the train... well not exactly fat, more like "one of the largest people i have seen that was still independently mobile." i like a little meat with my gravy but i dont like the entire cow. when we got to san jose he was behind me in the bus ticket line with his girlfriend, who was also quite hefty. she started bitching at him, so naturally i eavesdropped and from what i could tell she was pissed because he was looking at other girls, one of which i will assume was me, because 1. i am vain and 2. i dont think he had any propensities toward older black men, who were the only other people around. to placate his woman, he started making out with her in the waiting area outside.

NOW, its a well known fact that i am all for fat people, fat babies, fat kids, fat animals, etc, but i disapprove of vulgar sex acts in public. the Public Intimacy Factor this couple was achieving was ASTRONOMICAL. virginities have been lost with less groping, children have been conceived with less touching. and of course, this all happened three feet away fom me because they naturally sat down next to me. i just wanted to play minigolf on my phone [score: 68].

all i really want to say is: Fat Guy in Sweatpants on Caltrain: please touch your girlfriend's vagina in the privacy of your own home. thanks.