03 january 2004.8:27 pm

today i went to the zoo with lindsay and her little sister and we spent a whole lot of quarters getting pellets to feed the animals at the petting zoo. i mostly fed the baby donkey, but if you dont feed the goats they headbutt you and poop on your shoes. bitches!

zoos sort of bum me out, because i know if i was locked up and i had to deal with a shitload of french tourists and screaming children and japanese people wielding cameras every goddamned day of my life, i would be thoroughly depressed. its okay though, because i rest assured in the fact that if that polar bear had a chance, he would consume every last morsel of my delectable flesh, and if i was given the opportunity, i would eat Roasted American Bald Eagle Stuffed With Its Own Very Endangered Eggs.

basically, zoos are keeping the animals and the humans from eating each other. and on that note, here is a picture of me in a bear mask: