17 April 2003.330am

tonight i stepped on something lukewarm and wet so i started screaming and figured that it couldnt be anything but a small pile of cat vomit; however, on closer inspection it was found to be a sock filled with catnip that was soaked with kitty spittle. dont you wish there was a catnip equivalent for humans? not like drugs, but like something that you smell and suddenly youre overpowered with the urge to break it up and lick it and rub it all over your face? i sure do.

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"dude bon jovi's so rad! i saw him on a late night talk show and he was wearing a tshirt that said 'BOUNCE ON THIS' and it had an arrow pointing to his crotch! PIMP!!" - bork