20 may 2003.1242 am

my birthday party at cody and laura and ann and david's house went perfectly normally until about 230am when ryan [who i have dubbed "big morrissey," not to be confused with "lil morrissey," who is also, confusingly, named ryan] somehow invited the italian neighbors over. the italian neighbors all speak very poor english, do lots of coke, and mack on every female in sight. the only one that speaks english clearly bears a striking resemblance to serj from system of a down. they sang me 'happy birthday" in italian, twice. one of them, who we will forever refer to as the italian billy idol, told us that we could fuck him in the ass for $200 and he almost got naked. i hope someday someone will be kind enough to tell him that $200 isnt a lot of money.

i throw the best parties EVER.


this is my birthday present from chris, who also made the picture at the top of my diary.

um, why do i look like the hamburglar?