13 april 2006.1007 pm

ruth malhotra has a big shiny face

an editorial

by now, many of you have heard of ruth malhotra, the 22 year old student who is suing her college for the right to be intolerant [LA times link here]. ruth malhotra insists the anti-hate policies of the georgia institute of technology infringe on her freedom of religious expression. in short, ruth malhotra is a "christian," and ruth malhotra hates fags. but this is only one side of ruth malhotra. beyond the anti-queer, anti-feminist beliefs, there is ruth malhotra's big, shiny face.

nevermind that ruth malhotra's facial structure resembles that of a novelty halloween mask ; imagine all the work ruth malhotra must do to get her face that shiny. just think of the sheer number of homosexuals she has to anathematize on a daily basis to maintain her oleaginous face - at least six dozen, in this humble writer's opinion. other christian zealots usually turn to vaseline and canola oil, but ruth malhotra sticks to a solid diet of bigotry to maintain her large, slick visage.

ruth malhotra loves george w bush, which works out well since our president loves shiny objects, such as ruth malhotra's countenance. if i had to choose one person to be stranded on a desert island with, it would be ruth malhotra, because i sincerely believe that we could be rescued in a matter of hours by simply reflecting the sun off ruth malhotra's unctuous face and catching the attention of passing airplanes. instead of keeping a coffee can of bacon grease on the back of the stove, it's much more modern to have ruth malhotra squat in the corner of your kitchen.

when you kiss a republican, does the shine rub off on your face? im sure ruth malhotra could tell you. camus' meursault was blinded by the glare of the sun off ruth malhotra's face. ruth malhotra's impressively big and excessively lubricated face was in talks to replace the baby in the sun [imagine how resplendent!] on the hit children's television show "teletubbies," but ruth malhotra objected to the character tinky-winky, or as she eloquently put it, "that heathen faggot purple gay satan."

i, as all of you must, look forward to more of ruth malhotra's pursuits in prejudice and narrow-mindedness as she embarasses other christians, her entire generation, women, and humans in general. how shiny can your big face get, ruth malhotra?